I've been really thinking about things and happiness, and happiness without things, and looking into a more minimilist lifestyle (can we say tiny houses are just the cutest?!) Been feeling a bit drained, like I'm wasting energy on things that don't really matter, I mean, really, when is the last time someone asked me what my exact weight is? Well, I can tell you, it was March 28, the last day of a weight loss challenge I participated in. Since then, I've gotten on the scale, stayed off the scale, eaten the food, deprived myself of the food, worked out until my body cried uncle, and spent a couple of weeks pretty much bedridden. In the end, I weigh today within a pound of what I did in March. Crazy, huh? Yet I've put so much energy into that number that I've forgotten what's really important.
And a list of what means the most to me (in no particular order):
My kiddo
My sweetheart
My dad
My health
My memories
My tiny little patch of fresh vegetables in the front yard
My handful of friends that either get it, or at least encourage me if they don't
Notice, this list doesn't include the number on the scale, yes, my health is important. Eating healthy foods and exercise just makes me feel good and I really like to feel good. I'm spending FAR too much time and energy on trying to chase that magic number on that ugly machine. If I stop using food to punish myself and work on getting stronger and fitter simply for the sake of being stronger and fitter, not for some sick arbitrary "challenge" that I've set up for myself so I can watch myself fail and make up for it by withholding food, I feel like that number will just fall into place.
Also notice, this list does not include my community, it includes very specific people in my community, yet I've been feeling the need to really put myself out there as the spokesmodel for all things healthy. Yes, my story needs to be told. Yes, inspiring people to make healthy choices feels good, but not at the expense of my own health. That's time I'm taking away from my little patch of veggies or cutting a few seconds off of a mile.
Now, about decluttering and purging stuff around the house...seems like a completely daunting task, but I'm up for it! Might be MIA for a while trying to figure that part out.
