A Meloncholy Sort of Normal

I haven't had many positive things to say lately, so I just haven't said much at all. This isn't me, it's the season. Biggest problem with this is the vicious circle of not wanting to work out or eat right because I'm sad...and we all know that if you don't work out and eat right, it can make you sad. I've hit that place where I'm just plain tired of being sore and tired all the time, I've been there before and it never seems to get easier to get out of that funk, but I will get out of it. Plus I've gained a massive hunk of loose skin that really gets in my way when I do ab work lately, so instead of feeling all svelte and compact, I just feel floppy. I have cranked down the intensity of my workouts, been walking to work (5 miles round trip) instead of jog/ power walking my usual 3 miles plus some sort of class. I appreciate the opportunity to be outside and soak in some sunlight, I'm sure that's helping a bit. I will not stop being active just because I'm burned out, I'm just lessening the intensity (which, I'm sure means I'm slowing down my weight loss as well).

I envy the people I see that just dive right into their journeys and chug away, all motivated and stuff the whole way, until the weight melts off. My journey isn't like that at all, it's slow, not at all steady, in fact, it's very bumpy. I have great months of loss and months where I just barely do my best to maintain. I have also found my journey to be just as much mental as physical, and some days I feel like my brain is much flabbier than my body. I guess the harder you have to work for something, the more you appreciate it when you finally have it, right?

Still celebrating the 13 days of Arthur the best way I can, I've really been more down this year than the past couple, but I guess you'll have that...the journey through grieving is very similar to a weight loss journey, everyone does it differently, at a different speed, and there's no right way to do it. There are also backslides, it really is about picking yourself up more times than you fall down, just like in weight loss. Here's to praying that December 11 will bring an opportunity to reflect, recharge, and really start feeling more of the way I have chosen "normal" to feel again.