Today is Arthur's birthday. Today is also the first time I have gone to work on November 28 since 2006. I do have it in me today, I think there is a point where life just has to get back to the "normal" that you have chosen for yourself, and I'm really ready to treat November 28 like a regular day. Here's the problem that I never foresaw...my job requires physical documentation after having seen a client, I have to sign and date the paperwork. I haven't written "November 28" on anything other than a memorial sort of tidbit in over 5 years, so of course, when I write that date, I immediately go into "in memory of..." mode. Funny how I analyzed all of the potential barriers to working today and that never came up! That being said, I will be OK working on November 28 from now on, I feel like sometimes "normal" is just more comforting, but I will certainly not be working on December 11 (Angel Day) this year...too may flashbacks still.
I went to the gym this morning, as promised. Ran my legs off (it really doesn't take much for that to happen)... afterward, I felt great physically and felt great about what I had done. Now my hip is screaming in pain! Not going to let this break the 13 day streak, really working on stretching it out, I think it's a tendon issue, hopefully it can carry me on another run tomorrow morning! Have I mentioned how grateful I am to be as strong and healthy as I have become? In November of 2008, when this journey first started to spark, I was exhausted after walking my first mile when I decided to train for that fateful half marathon. It was REALLY hard for me to make it across the street to get home that day, now look at me! I have been given the gift of being able to walk absurdly long distances now (pretty sure I COULD finish a half marathon, just wouldn't be too happy about the way I feel after), I can run 2-3 miles without much trouble, I can make it through just about any hour long fitness class that is thrown my way, I'm lifting about 3 times the weight than I was 3 months ago, and I feel AMAZING! Physically and emotionally, I just feel wonderful. When I think of that broken, crying girl who wasn't able to even walk a mile without pushing herself to her limit, I'm so glad that I'm not her anymore. I don't hate her, and am glad that she existed, I think of her often, but have absolutely no desire to ever see her again!
We are having a mini retirement party for a couple of ladies at work today, lots of treats sitting around, and have to admit, I did take a plate of whatever I wanted (fruit, tortilla chips and salsa, cheese cubes, and a couple of cookies...there was a day when that would have been my first course, then would have been lurking around the snack table all day, so certainly took about 1/4 of what I would have a year ago). This time, I'm calling that my lunch, got by with a fairly light breakfast and have a Greek yogurt just in case of the hungries this afternoon. There is still a lot of fruit left, so that's another option for afternoon munchies.
Heading back to the stability ball to work on some more stretches for that hip now!
No comments:
Post a Comment